


you know it's never too late

by towokuwusatsuwu



Series: Pride 2018: 30 Days of S.W.O.R.D. [12]
Category: HiGH&LOW: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Agender Character, Emotions, Gender Dysphoria, LGBTQ Themes, Nonbinary Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 21:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14923538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: “I’m glad you have someone who loves you so much,” she tells him.Bernie’s smile stretches so far across his face she thinks it must hurt and then he throws his arms around her as tight as he can, squeezing her while he presses his face into her neck. His voice quivers just a little. “I didn’t think anyone ever would, not like he does.”“It’s okay, sweetheart, I know.” Kizzy presses the side of her head against his hair, rubbing Bernie’s back as gently as she can. “But now you see that you can have all the nice things in the world, right? You can be happy, and be loved, just how you are.”“You were right when you said all that. I wasn’t sure, but.” Bernie sniffles, wipes away a stray tear and then hugs her again, tighter this time. “Thanks so much, Kizzy!”





	you know it's never too late

Club Heaven opens in the early evening when the first signs of sunset appear in the sky, when most people have been off of their blue collar jobs long enough to decide if they want to spend their night in a club. Prior to that, they have time to clean up, to handle finances, to discuss any changes that need to be made, if they have a special night coming up or not. Rocky hires people specifically to do these tasks, after all, but on Wednesday afternoon, the club belongs to Kizzy and she has Kaito help her move some couches and chairs into a rough approximation of circle, plays with the lighting until she’s satisfied with it.

There are rules about who can enter what places in the S.W.O.R.D. region without permission, what is allowed and what isn’t, what each leader will tolerate and what they will not. This afternoon, though, those restrictions are lifted because Kizzy herself wills them to be, and no one would ever tell her no. Even if Oya High and Rocky grumble about having any members of the Mighty Warriors join her this afternoon, Kizzy puts her foot down, and everyone falls silent.

Her people file into the club in bits and pieces, some coming alone, some dropped off by other people, some coming with their partners depending on the situation. Kizzy is there to pick Noboru up at the door, air kissing both of her cheeks because she can see the uncertainty in Noboru’s eyes, the slight hesitation. It will be easier for her with time, of course, but Kizzy is proud of her just for getting as far as she has in the last few months.

It takes time. Kizzy brings them all here to remind them that periodically, to help them find the footholds they need to get to the next stage of their lives. She reached the pinnacle already, and she thinks that gives her a special view on all of this, and lets her offer her hands to other people, to help them up when they fall or can’t manage another step.

Kato drops Hyuga off, kisses him goodbye in the car and then vanishes at a dizzying speed that has Kizzy rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Dan brings Chiharu and Tetsu, who walk in close together, their pinks looped together, arms swinging back and forth just a little. Furuya and Seki are with Murayama and Todoroki and though both of them scowl at the club— Oya in particular is still furious with the Mighty Warriors, after all, and Kizzy can’t blame them— they still wave at her as they go.

Her trio from the Rudeboys show up not long after, laughing amongst themselves, heads bent close together as they whisper back and forth to each other. Kizzy wiggles her fingers at them as they walk through the doorway and Yu flashes her the widest, most beautiful sunshine smile— She might swoon just a little. Junko comes on her own, her pink jacket even brighter under the sunlight, flashing Kizzy a small little smile as she hurries inside. Lastly, her Mighty Warriors show up, and she rolls her eyes just a little at the way Ice drags Ryu over for a long and very wet-looking kiss before letting them out of the car. Bernie trips along after them, waving to Kizzy with both hands, adorable as always.

She doesn’t know if she’s waiting for anyone else until the telltale sound of motorcycles makes her hesitate in the doorway, worrying her lower lip between her teeth, hoping her lip stain doesn’t all come of fin the process. Hiroto and Kohaku park at the corner and come to meet her and she tries not to smile too big at either of them just in case.

With everyone here, Kizzy closes and locks up so that no one else can wander in— staff have their own entrance— and takes her seat in her favorite chair.

“How’s everyone doing today?” she asks, crossing one leg over the other, curling her hands on top of her knee, looking between each person in front of her.

“Great!” Yu shouts this out so loudly it echoes through the empty club and the circle of people laughs, but he doesn’t look the slightest bit embarrassed about it. “So like, last time you told me that if my ribs were really bothering me to see how I felt if I skipped a day or two not wearing the binder, and like… I feel pretty great? I’m not even wearing it right now.”

Kizzy nods, squeezing her own knee at the memory of Yu leaning against her side, hiccuping softly because compression fabric hurts, and wearing them too long can do just as much damage as the bandages he used to wear. “That’s so wonderful to hear.”

“We were out of the Nameless Street yesterday going to get Smokey’s medicine and someone said we looked like cute boyfriends.” Pi loops an arm easily around Yu’s shoulders, bringing their cheeks together. “It was just really great to hear that, y’know?”

“Kind of just validation that everything you’re doing is making a visual difference, and that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Kizzy asks, and Pi grins at her, nods once, a gesture that sends his hair flying around his face a little.

Yu reaches past Pi, grabs a handful of Kain’s pale pink sweater. “And them! We all went out to pick up a few things and I know it’s maybe not ideal but I heard people saying they couldn’t figure out if Kain was a boy or a girl so, like, a slight improvement? Maybe?”

“It’s better than being assumed to be either or, I have to say that.” Kain lies their head on Pi’s shoulder, a pretty contrast of faded red and bright vibrant blue. “This…” Kain tugs one of their lives, petal pink. “I like these kinds of colors. I think they give people pause.”

Things are fine on the Nameless Street, then; Kizzy breathes a sigh of relief at the thought because in the back of her mind, she had been worried that since most of their money goes into helping Smokey, they might not be able to access what they needed. The White Rascals make plenty of money from Club Heaven, so Kizzy helps where she can, but the concern was always there just the same. Seeing the three of them curled up on one of her couches together, smiling and happy and satisfied, does wonders on her heart.

“I’ve received similar comments, though certain people in my life balk at the cruder comments and questions.” Ryu speaks softly and elegantly, a perfect contrast to Bernie sitting next to them, half-leaning on them. “Pink is a very nice color on you, I think.”

“Thank you. Still sticking to mostly black?” Kain asks.

“Black is a very good color on me, I think. Helps disguise certain parts of my body, confuses people because if your shape isn’t as visible, they have less traits to rely on.” Ryu rolls their eyes and Kizzy hides a smile behind her hand. “Bernie, you were going to—”

“Yes!” Bernie bounces to his feet, yanking his shirt over his head, stretching his arms out and twirling around like a ballerina. “Look at this pattern! Pho got it for me. He’s been so good about everything but he asked Ice for my size so he could get one for me for my birthday. Isn’t it so me? I’ve only been wearing it about an hour, wanted to be able to show everyone today.”

Kizzy  _ oohs, _ pushing herself up so she can come stand in front of Bernie to look properly at his new binder. Though Kizzy did binder deliveries for quite a few members of the other S.W.O.R.D. gangs, Mighty Warriors take care of their own. The print of the binder can only be described as bright and colorful and she smiles, shaking her head a little at just how well it fits Bernie’s personality. Pho had done an excellent job picking it out for him.

“I’m glad you have someone who loves you so much,” she tells him.

Bernie’s smile stretches so far across his face she thinks it must hurt and then he throws his arms around her as tight as he can, squeezing her while he presses his face into her neck. His voice quivers just a little. “I didn’t think anyone ever would, not like he does.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I know.” Kizzy presses the side of her head against his hair, rubbing Bernie’s back as gently as she can. “But now you see that you can have all the nice things in the world, right? You can be happy, and be loved, just how you are.”

“You were right when you said all that. I wasn’t sure, but.” Bernie sniffles, wipes away a stray tear and then hugs her again, tighter this time. “Thanks so much, Kizzy!”

Once they sit back down, Kizzy turns her attention to Noboru, watching her fidget with the bottom of her skirt, a soft pale blue that compliments her beautifully. Kizzy took Noboru on her first shopping trip for more feminine clothing, not that anything is wrong with a woman who prefers pants to skirts; Kizzy herself prefers them, liking the versatility and the fact she can fight in them without worrying about them flying up on her. But she knows how important the trip was to Noboru, that changing her clothing is just one small step toward reclaiming herself.

“How are you doing, princess?” Kizzy asks her, leaning closer to poke her thigh.

“Really good, actually! Naomi invited me out to girls’ night with her and some friends and none of them looked at me weird or anything. It was… Really nice, to get to spend time with other women and be treated like a woman myself.” Noboru’s voice wavers and Kizzy scoots her chair over so she can squeeze Noboru’s knee. Beside her, Junko leans over, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’m still scared sometimes, you know, because I guess I’m kind of tall, and—”

Junko shakes her head. “There’s nothing wrong with tall women, pretty girl. It just means you can get away with not wearing heels.”

“I know. It’s just, y’know, sometimes it’s a little hard because it’s not really… I don’t want to say  _ normal _ and sound awful, but—” Noboru says, her voice soft and unsteady.

Kizzy huffs and squeezes her knee. “Don’t apologize, sweet pea. It’s hard because people think of women as being small and petite and it’s a stereotype that makes it harder for you to pass because you’re taller. It’s totally understandable it’d be a rough point for you right now, so don’t apologize for it. It just takes time.”

“Like, I get this,” Murayama says, leaning around Junko to pat Noboru’s shoulder. “Being around Furuya, you know, he’s  _ tall _ but it still kinda makes me feel bad for being so short, like I’m not as masculine as he is or something. It’s not your fault, swear.”

When Kohaku speaks, despite his voice being much softer than most of the others in this room, everyone falls silent to listen to him. “It doesn’t start out like this,” he says, gesturing to himself with one hand, his eyes— one beautifully dark, one beautifully pale, the most interesting juxtaposition of all in a man full of them— intense. “I know it’s probably harder for some of you. You see me, you see Hiroto—” He smacks Hiroto on the shoulder, who scowls at him, “or you see Kizzy. We’re all further along this journey than most of you are.”

Kizzy curls a hand beneath her chin, thoughtful. “I’ve seen some of the older pictures in Itokan of you, Kohaku-san. You’ve been where you are, roughly, for quite a while, yes?”

“I have been. But that’s because I had Tatsuya.” His voice wavers but he clears his throat, and his eyes blaze once more. “I had a support system that made it a faster journey for me because we had money, so I could get what I needed. S’why when most of you met Hiroto here, you did double takes because you never realized he was one of us.”

Hyuga hums, half-stretching himself across his couch, all to himself because he lies on any surface like a sleepy cat. “The Hyuga Group had money, too, and my father threw as much at me as I needed. By the time most of you got to know me, I’d been on T for years and already had a surgery under my belt.”

“Ah, Kohaku and I didn’t get along when we first met, obviously.” Hiroto leans forward, props his elbows on his knees. “But I was equal parts inspired and discouraged when I found out he was trans, too. Because he looked so  _ masculine,  _ you know, like he does now. So I was like, that could be me one day. But I also thought, what if I don’t have such good results for myself?”

“Rocky’s not here so I can speak a little more openly. We left Doubt, obviously, for good reasons, but when I was still with them, Ranmaru, he didn’t  _ care _ about such things. You’ll never hear Takano or Hirai use my deadname for this reason.” It feels strange to talk about her former boss as anything but scum, but Kizzy knows that the silver lining in Doubt is what some of the people here need right now, and she wants to offer it, if she can. “So I was able to start transitioning earlier than any of you knew me. By the time I started White Rascals, I’d already started working on myself. We’ve been at this a long time.”

“These things— your height giving you issues, still working out the kinks in how you present, trying to achieve an aesthetic that makes other people see you as you want to be seen— These things can take time.” Kohaku spreads his hands out in front of him and Kizzy thinks, not for the first time, that he has such a beautiful and pleasant voice. “You’re all very young. And very strong, for dealing with everything you have.”

“And very brave, for continuing to work on yourselves, on who you are and who you want to be, when we’ve all been going through so much, and facing so much opposition,” Hiroto adds.

Kizzy claps her hands together, the sound echoing through the room. “And these things take time! Circumstance can make them take longer, and it might be discouraging, but look at the three of us, and understand that you can get to where you want to be. That we are here to serve as guidance when you need us to help you, but that we also represent that with time, you can be exactly who you want to be. Everyone here has that ability.”

They talk for a while longer, trading stories back and forth across the circle, before everyone has to head out to give the Club Heaven staff enough time to get the club ready for tonight. Kizzy hugs everyone on their way out, takes their hands and thanks them for coming, for always being ready to talk about even the difficult parts of their lives. It’s Kohaku she takes by the hand to talk to privately for just a moment before he goes.

“Your hair looks awful,” she tells him, running her fingers through the long and shaggy locks, “but you look so much better. I’m glad every time you come, you know. You’re older than all of us, and I think it really helps a lot of people to have you here.”

Kohaku smiles softly, patting her on the shoulder. “No problem, Kizzy. I’ve done a lot of bad things, I think. If this is something I can do to help out other people, then I’m going to do it. Even small things, I hope, can heal some of the wounds I’ve caused here.”

“Hush. The past is the past and everyone is happy to have you here and home.” Kizzy stands on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “Give Tsukumo my love. Koo might be fixing up a group like this for everyone’s partners, to help them learn what they can do to help out.”

“That sounds smart. I’ll ask Tsukumo if he’s interested in helping. It’s been admittedly less time for us, but you know, he’s been a close friend for years before now.” There’s no disguising the note of softness in Kohaku’s voice when he says his boyfriend’s name.

If it warms Kizzy’s heart, she tries not to let it show too much on her face. After all, she doesn’t want to alienate anyone. “Absolutely. Have a safe trip home.”

Rocky shows up maybe an hour after everyone has left to oversee everything; Kizzy bounds up to his side to hug him, planting a hard kiss on his cheek; he catches her around the waist and squeezes her in greeting. “Had a good afternoon, I take it?”

“Yeah. I really think it’s helping everyone out to have somewhere to talk about things.” Kizzy plucks Rocky’s sunglasses off of his nose and slides them up her own, ignoring the look of annoyance he shoots her for stealing his favorite shades. “Thanks for letting me have the club every week. It means a lot to be able to do it somewhere safe.”

Quickly, Rocky averts his gaze, though there is no hiding the way his cheeks pinken at the words. “No problem, Kizzy. You need anything, just ask.”

Kizzy kisses him on his much warmer cheek for good measure and gives him his sunglasses back before she heads upstairs to check on the girls getting ready for the night shift. Tonight, it’ll be a good night because Kizzy is in a great mood. And she’ll make sure it spreads to everyone.


End file.
